I had to go out into the world today to run an errand, and I took advantage of the fact that someone was at home with my children. I decided, instead of buying a Ped Egg, I’d just go get a damned pedicure!
I’ve never had the French manicure thing done on my feet before. My feet feel so pretty and soft and not at all like they’re going to snag the carpet if I walk around barefoot. Still, though, I refuse to take a close up picture of my feet. Even after a pedicure, feet are just gross!
As horrified as I am by the top image there of human skin shavings being dumped into the trash, I have to admit that I am absolutely dying to run out to Walgreens and buy one of these for my very own. I have some jacked up feet as of late – I’m blaming it on wearing Crocs all around Disneyland. Summertime is just hard on feet, y’know? All that walking, all that ridiculous footwear. I really want to check this out. I get so obsessed with things like this, though – I’ll probably overdo it and end up hobbling around the house with injured soles. You may be reading blog posts in the future about Ped Egg injuries! Hopefully not. I’ll let you know.
This stuff is just insane. I mean, it would have to be, right? Have you seen the commercial? With that same guy who shouts at us in the OxyClean commercial? (Aside: I’ve always thought Paul’s coworker Jason looked like Billy Mays, the OxyClean guy. Don’t believe me? Look for the “Net Jet Review” post on this very blog. There’s a picture of him.)
Anyway. They show it on the commercial – spray and wipe to cut through soap scum! Spray and wipe to cut through limescale! It even takes rust off of your patio. I figured it would have to do something for the red stains on the grout in our shower. I think we have rust in our water or something, because everywhere we have water, we have red stains. It looks super on the white vinyl fence that surrounds every square inch of our neighborhood. It’s as if the municipal sprinkler system has Kool-Aid in it. We have 12″ square stone tiles in our shower, and they’re just…hard to clean! They’re so…porous. And it says right on the bottle not to use it on stone, but I decided to hell with it. I don’t care if it eats away my shower walls as long as it gets rid of those ugly red streaks!
Now here’s the part I don’t understand. How do people use Easy-Off Bam without falling over dead? I sprayed the shit out of my shower, and then turned on the exhaust fan and threw open the window, and I still had to bury my face in a towel while scrubbing the shower walls to avoid passing out. I seriously think you could use this stuff as a weapon, if it weren’t too big to carry on your keychain. But damned if that stuff didn’t clean up my shower like it was brand new! It really DID cut through the soap scum on the glass door like nobody’s business. It really DID wipe the rusty red stuff right off of the way-too-porous tile and grout.
So, all’s well that ends well, I guess. Watch, I’ll be in my cozy bed tonight at 3 a.m., dreaming about Detective Scanlon from Medium giving me a foot massage, and I’ll be jolted awake by the sounds of 12″ stone tiles detaching from the wall and crashing to the floor. I’ll update this post if that should happen. In the mean time: go buy some of this stuff! It’s as ridiculous as it seems on TV! IT’S REALLY WORTH SHOUTING ABOUT! BAM! BAM! BAM!!!
LaLaGirl is the mother of a teenager and two young sets of twins. She's happily married, loves living in Colorado, and writes almost daily about married life, raising multiples, and parenting a child with autism.
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