The winner of the Pizza Hut Tuscani Pasta Dinner for 4, as randomly chosen is…

Steph!

Congratulations, Steph! I’ll be in touch to get you your free grub!

Check back in soon for more giveaways: coming soon – The Wonderpets Save the Beetles on DVD!

Somebody emailed me the other day, asking if the reviews on this site are paid, since they’re pretty much all glowing endorsements. Well, that’s the thing: I generally like to pass along great products that I love and that I know other busy mamas are going to like. So, no. They’re not paid.

But I’m always interested in keeping balance in my life and on my blog. So with that in mind, I thought I’d post a review of a few items I’ve tried recently that have completely sucked. I’m not trying to disrespect, I just want to give my sisters in motherhood a heads up that this stuff isn’t worth throwing into your shopping basket.

First off: toilet paper. We use what I consider to be a ridiculous, almost absurd amount of toilet paper in this house. And it’s not because we have five children, either. It’s because my husband is a very fastidious, neat man, and he likes his booty to be clean as a whistle. I swear to you, the man uses at least half to three quarters of a roll of TP whenever he visits the bathroom for an extended period of time. It is INSANE to me. But hey, I appreciate the lack of skid marks in his chonies come laundry day.

And he is very particular about the brand of toilet paper in our household as well – it must be Charmin. And not the kind in the red package, the “extra strong” type or whatever that is. It has to be the blue package, which I believe is the “extra soft.” Apparently, his ass knows the difference. In the interest of saving a little money, I decided to try out the new Charmin Basic when it came out a few months ago. It’s Charmin’s cheaper, more substandard toilet paper, marketed as “Practical, Not Pricey.” Their motto should be, “You might as well have flushed your money down the toilet too.” This toilet paper is so thin, it looks like tracing paper. And it’s weird, too – the end of each roll is glued down, so as not to unravel. And good luck getting that glue to unstick! I dug at the roll with my nail, trying to get it started, but I ended up ripping it into streamer-like strips. Ridiculous. I wonder how many frustrated teenagers have bought this stuff at midnight, intent on tee-peeing their friends’ houses, and cursed it for not unsticking and unrolling. This product is completely substandard, and it makes me a little annoyed with Charmin! Don’t buy this. It’s actually not THAT much cheaper. You could buy the store brand for less, and probably be much happier with it.

Then we have another Basic product: Bounty Basic. Same thing here – it’s the Quicker Picker Upper’s low-rent, white trash brother-in-law. Their slogan: Great strength at a great price. Okay, I’ll give them that. These are strong. You can wash a window with them. They don’t fall apart. But good luck getting that mother hubbard to tear off the roll! The perforation between each paper towel is really just sort of an implied suggestion. Like, “this is where you would tear this paper towel if it were actually perforated.” At first, I thought I was just tearing them too fast. So I took my time, and tried to gently tear it apart right at the perforation. I tried this with probably five or six paper towels, just trying to prove a point to myself so I could write this post. They don’t tear! You cannot tear a sheet off the roll! It cannot be done.

I don’t get it. I don’t understand what marketing genius came up with these products. Do they think we value brand loyalty over quality? They market this stuff to those of us on a budget, who are trying to provide for our families without having to pay finance charges on our groceries. I think that’s what offends me a little bit – yeah, I’m not made of money. Does that mean I deserve this substandard crap? No! I LIKE Charmin and Bounty – and I’ll buy generic soup and cereal in order to buy nicer paper products. Don’t try to sell me garbage, all dressed up in a pretty package. It’s annoying!

Anyway. I didn’t mean to go off on a huge tangent there! I just wanted to say…pass on the Basic stuff. Don’t buy into the hype! If you’re really trying to find a better value, shop the store brands. Target and Wal-Mart both have store brands of paper products that are pretty decent for the price.

Recently we had the opportunity to sample a new fruit snack from Stretch Island Fruit Company: FruitaBu Organic Fruit Sploooshers. They provide a full serving of fruit in a squeezy tube, like Go-Gurt.

We sampled the strawberry flavor, and I threw them in the fridge for a few hours before we tried them. You can eat them at room temperature, but I think they’re probably better cold. You could even freeze them, I suppose! Oh, and by the way – just a note to companies in search of product reviews: I have five children. Please send enough samples so that everybody gets one, otherwise…oh honey. It just gets crazy up in here. Anyway.

These are really good. The fruit is thick and…fruity. I thought it would be like applesauce, but it’s much thicker than that. It’s not artificially sweetened, and it’s made with over 90% real organic fruit and fruit juice. I have no idea what the other 10% is, because we already threw away the (three) empty tubes we received. I can only assume the other ingredients are Magic and Sunshine and Happiness, because these are the bomb.

You can find Fruit Sploooshers in your grocery store or natural foods store in the fruit snack aisle, and they retail for $3.79 – $3.99 for a package of five. (Five, as in, the number of children who live in this house.) Check ‘em out – my kids really liked them, and they aren’t overly sticky like some “fruit” snacks. They’d be perfect for picnics, lunchboxes, and whatever really! Good stuff.

SafetyTat is a product that should win awards for Best Parenting Idea Ever!

What are they? Temporary tattoos, in a variety of cute designs, printed with a cell phone number. Show of hands here: who’s headed out somewhere crowded with the family and written on their child’s arm with a Sharpie? I totally have. With five kids, four of them itty bitty, and one of them autistic, I’m kind of a freak about keeping track of my children. It’s SO EASY to lose track of somebody!

We’re going to Disneyland soon, and you can bet I’ll be ordering a couple of sets of these before we leave. And they have designs specific for autistic/non-verbal kids! I love it! I think these are the designs we’re going to get.

They have lots of cute designs for boys and girls, and designs that alert to other health issues too. I have a friend whose child has a severe nut allergy, and she’s going to flip when she sees these! I just can’t get over what a fantastic idea this is – it’s odd that nobody ever thought of it before! It’s so simple, yet so effective. Awesome. This is a mom-run company, and I hope they’ve submitted their product for awards everywhere! Check ‘em out: